


Looking Back At My Reflection (We Hold Each Other)

by CycloneRachel



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Insomnia, One Shot, Worry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 16:20:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15953039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CycloneRachel/pseuds/CycloneRachel
Summary: Kara finds out Brainy's been distant, from the DEO, since he started working there, and makes it her mission to discover why.It turns out to be a more personal mission than she expected.





	Looking Back At My Reflection (We Hold Each Other)

Kara had been told to give Brainy space.

It was, after all, something that he needed- and desired, especially in the most stressful of situations when he needed the most time to think things through, compensating for a lack of more advanced technology.

(Which, with the circumstances he was in at the moment, would be every major situation for the foreseeable future.)

She and Alex both did indeed give him plenty of space- and, seeing as how he’d had experience both with working alongside the DEO and as part of a team that operated similarly, having almost the same responsibilities, he was more or less allowed to operate independently, with minimal specific orders.

For the most part, he was working well, even if he took his independence to the point that he barely exchanged any words with other agents. Even talking to Alex, for him, looked like it was a chore, judging by his expressions and posture while doing so.

But Kara wasn’t focused on how he was doing his work.

“Is he eating at all?” she asked Alex, at one point. “I mean, _can_ he?”

“I think so.” Alex said, shrugging. “But I’ve never seen him do it. At least, not since he came back. Maybe he does, I don’t know.”

That alone concerned Kara, but there was something else.

“What about sleeping?” she wondered. “Does he get enough sleep?”

“Like I said, I don’t see him sleep.” Alex said. “Whenever I’ve been here, he has- and I’ve been told he doesn’t leave.”

Kara’s heart sank, hearing those words. She knew it was going to be difficult for him, adjusting to his new life in the past- but she didn’t know him enough to be sure whether this was just a coping mechanism, or something else.

“I think I should talk to him.” Kara told her sister. “I mean, he seemed pretty excited that I was talking to him before, right? Surely he _might_ tell me what’s going on.”

“Go ahead, it’s worth a shot.” Alex said. “You can find him either at his desk, or in his lab.”

“Thanks.” Kara answered, and after checking first to make sure he wasn’t at his desk, she soon found him working downstairs. As usual, he didn’t seem to show any signs of fatigue, though Kara still questioned how okay he really was.

“Hey, Brainy?” she asked, standing in the doorway, trying her best to act casual. “Do you have a few minutes? I just want to talk, it’s nothing serious.”

He put down what he was doing, looking at her like there was nothing else in the room.

“Of course, Kara.” He said.

She nodded and stepped into the room, pulling a chair over and sitting down, watching him as he did the same, sitting near her but only just close enough for her to reach out to him, not quite able to touch his shoulder or arm or knee, and reassure him like she wanted to.

It would have to be enough, however, and maybe that was as close as he was willing to get so far.

“So, Alex told me that you’ve been working a lot.” She started. “That’s good.”

“Yes.” He said. “I’ve been doing what she requires. Your sister is a good leader- I see how people listen to her.”

“Well, she has stepped in as director once before.” Kara answered. “I’m glad to hear she’s doing so well. But… how are you?”

“I just told you, I have been working frequently since I returned from my future. Everything is running smoothly, since Winn and J’onn left. Alex and I and the other agents are handling things. There’s no need to worry.”

Kara let out a small sigh, listening to him. She knew he was trying to reassure her, but…

“I’m sorry.” She said. “I _am_ worried- about you, specifically.”

“Me?”

“Well, yeah. Apparently you aren’t eating or sleeping, at least not as far as Alex can tell- and as she could probably share from her personal experience, that eventually leads to poor performance, whether here or out in the field, whenever you’re ready for that.”

“I have run diagnostics on myself.” He answered. “All of my systems are in optimal condition. Even if I am neglecting said human needs, worrying about me is not necessary.”

“Yeah, but you’re still half-organic.” Kara said. “You can’t forget that part of yourself, even though it may be easy to do.”

It was like someone had hit her between the eyes, with how quickly she realized what she’d said.

 _Oh. It’s like talking to myself._ She thought suddenly, considering his words. _Almost 1 year ago, exactly._

_What would I say to the me from back then, if I could?_

“Hey.” She said abruptly, changing the subject. She moved her chair forward, although he didn’t notice it and didn’t protest. “Do you… wonder about what’s going on, in the future?”

“Constantly.” He answered, looking into her eyes. “And being who I am, it is not difficult to imagine full scenarios of what may happen to them- Winn and Mon-El and Imra especially, but really all of them. Everyone I left behind, at my ancestor’s mercy.”

“I’m sorry.” Kara said. She placed her hand on his, seeing how distressed he now looked, how distant- maybe even thinking of one of those scenarios right then. “I- last year, I was in a similar position- I had to say goodbye to someone I truly cared about. I thought he was dead, and it… tore me apart.”

“You are stronger than anyone I know.” Brainy answered. “I cannot easily imagine you broken, on an emotional or physical level- aside from when I assisted you, after you were nearly quite literally broken.”

“Well, it still happened.” Kara said. “But, slowly, I was able to build myself back up, with help from the other people I care about most. And even when I thought he was dead, there was still someone to reassure me- tell me it wasn’t my fault. That he was okay, and that I just had to trust that.”

“And that is what you wanted to tell me.” Brainy answered. “That I am not at fault for sending our friends away, and that I only need to trust them, since they will return at some point?”

“Exactly.” Kara said, squeezing his hand, and smiling at him. “And that you always have friends here, who’ll be here for you if you need us. We want to help you, Querl. You just ask, and we will.”

He liked that she was using his real name. And he knew she’d never let him down. But there was still one thing that made him hesitate.

“I have nightmares.” He said, stating it plainly. “In addition to running those scenarios I mentioned- these are far more illogical, and nearly always end with me witnessing deaths of individual Legionnaires at Brainiac’s hand, while I am helpless to stop them. And once I wake up, I still feel helpless. This, in truth, is why I have rarely slept. I am afraid that, once I do, those images will return. That they may even come true.”

Kara could hardly stand how tired he looked, even without his image inducer turned on. She pushed her chair even closer to his, pulling him into a hug.

“It’s going to be okay.” She said. “You’re gonna get through this, and they will too. But first, you do need sleep, at least for tonight.”

Brainy looked uncomfortable at that, though her hand still holding his at least gave him some comfort.

“Would you stay?” he asked. “In my room. Just, making sure that I get to sleep, and if I do have a nightmare, you’ll wake me up?”

“Yeah, of course.” Kara answered.

“Thank you.” Brainy said, standing up. She joined him, as they started to leave the lab together, and while they were walking out, he turned to her.

“Could you show me where my room is?” he asked. “I do not usually say this, but I believe for once I’ve forgotten its exact location.”

Kara laughed, but of course quieted down once she saw his more serious expression.

“Sure.” She said. “Just follow me.”

He did, and in less time than he expected he was in his new quarters.

It wasn’t anything special, but he supposed it was home for the next few- weeks? Months? Years? He had no idea.

He still tried to get comfortable, however, and unlike the first time he’d tried sleeping in that bed, she was there to make the experience better for him, as much as she could.

She tucked him in, making sure he was covered, and he could’ve sworn he heard her mutter something about getting an extra pillow and blanket for him.

But he’d have to ask about that in the morning.

For the moment, he was just trying to sleep, to ease her troubled mind, and his own.

“Good night, Kara.” He said, closing his eyes, resting his head on the pillow.

“Night, Brainy.” She answered. She nearly continued with “Don’t let the bedbugs bite”, but knew that would only worry him even more. So, instead, she just bent down and kissed his forehead, like Eliza once had with her when she was similarly upset about losing her home, and settled into a chair to watch him.

It was going to be a long night, she knew, but at least it was hopefully the beginning of more restful nights for him.

Hopefully now he would see- like she had- that he could still be human.

Even when everything in him was telling him to be anything but.

For the time being, though, she was just going to wait and see, and hope she got through to him.

It was one of the best things she could do on his behalf at the moment, after all.


End file.
